PYP - Online Dating in 2023

I was totally planning on writing a different blog tonight.  I may still unpack those thoughts later, but after talking to a lifelong friend this evening, he encouraged me to make tonights blog about dating.  He said women need to know the traps that are out there.  He suggested I call the blog "Protect Your Pussy", so I'm honoring his suggestion with a politically correct title PYP.  Dear reader, by reading just this far, you now know the secret to the title.

It's crazy out there.  It's bad enough that you have to sift through a myriad of people that just don't fit your life:  smokers, ultra conservative, looking for hookups, looking for sisterwives, live more than 1 hour away or simply just not your type... you get past those to find a large portion of the age old group of guys that get cold feet after two dates...  and now in this lovely modern world you have an added subset: the scammers and dayyuuummm they think they're sly.

I really don't know where to start other than with the only one that I believe got away with a scam.  For simplicity and anonimity, I'm going to give each of these people C names...

Craig:  He was really good.  The first date and month were great.  He was super attentive.  Fixed issues around the house and my car.  A week in he asked me to go to Hawaii with him in three months.  Ok.  Why not?  Three weeks in he told me a coworker was moving to Phoenix and had a riding lawnmower, leaf blower and edger for sale for $400.  I told him if it was in good shape, I wanted it.  Gave him the cash and he said his coworker would get it to me in the next week.  A week later his coworker was in Phoenix and we were waiting for him to come back.  In the mean time Craig slowly started disappearing.  Kept calling but had reasons for not being around for days.  He suggested we go to the mountains for a weekend, then changed his mind days later.  He supposedly had Covid and couldn't see me for 10 days, yet managed to get a tattoo...  Little stuff that just didn't add up.  A month later I told him if his coworker wasn't going to be back soon to get the mower to me that I wanted my money back.  Craig didn't like my attitude.  He couldn't believe that I didn't trust him to get it to me.  (insert alarm bells here).  As we got close to the day we were supposed to leave for Hawaii, I asked what he needed to finalize the trip.  He told me he had done so.  (insert bigger alarm bells here- he never got any information from me - I've been in the industry for 15 years, I KNOW what you need to travel).  The weekend before we are supposed to leave he comes over and tells me he's in trouble.  His son's tuition came out of his account the day before.  He has $4 in his account until Thursday.  His bull is so thick I just looked at him and said "The good news is you had the money, the bad news is they took it".  He left my house livid that I didn't offer him money.  The night before we were supposed to leave, he told me he needed space.  The day that we were supposed to leave he came over and said he wanted to work things out.  I told him I was out of there, I was leaving the next day.  That I had a back up plan all along because I knew Hawaii wasn't going to happen.  He was livid that I didn't believe in him.  I gave him a hug and said there was no reason to keep talking and closed the door.  I don't have any faith that I'll ever see that mower, but I know he did more than $400 worth of repairs on my car while he was trying to get in with this "sugar mama".  We're even.  Looking back I think he would have milked me for money here and there for "emergencies".  He thought he had a sucker.

Connor:  Honestly, I can't remember what this person's name was supposed to be.  Intelligent conversations via text for a weekend.  When he first started talking to me he was 200 miles away - he said he was in Charlotte, NC.  Over the weekend he was 900 miles away.  He said he'd gone to Dallas for work, and was going to be going to Grand Cayman to work for a month the next Tuesday.    Monday night he sends me a text saying he isn't sure if the internet will be good, could we use a different way of communicating?  I googled Grand Cayman and posted into my response how it has excellent service.  The next morning he sends me the bottom part of a boarding pass saying that he'll text me when he lands.  I look at the picture and see CLT Delta A21.  I immediately respond, "Try again, Delta doesn't have direct flights from CLT to Grand Cayman".  Again, I've been in the industry for over a decade, I know who flies where.  No one would fly from Dallas to Charlotte to go to Grand Cayman on a business trip.  I had Cherie look up who was flying out of A21.  Delta didn't have ANY flights before 10am out of Charlotte.  I followed that text with that information and "I don't know who you are or what your end game is, but I enjoyed the texts this weekend, have a great life"...  Then blocked the number and reported the profile on the app.

Carlo:  This one only took me 24 hours to bust.  It's almost become fun watching the scammers start a web.  But they are little spiders and I'm a black widow... go ahead and spin your web.  I'll eat it for dinner.  Carlo was an Italian guy who supposedly has been here for 15 years.  On the app it showed he was a mile away.  I asked if he lived or worked in the city.  He said he works from home and lives in Alpharetta.  (red flag)  He asked if he could call me that night.  I said sure and gave him my number.  He didn't call, but he sent me a text the next morning "Hi it's Carmine from XYZ.  I am sorry I didn't call you, I got home late, can I call you tonight?"  My phone is telling me I'm getting a text from Carter from an unknown number...  There is no way to make Carter out of Carlo, Carmine or any other Italian name I know...  I responded "Fa niente".  (It matters not).  This evening he sends a text "Are you home, can I call?"  I replied I am.  Let's unpack the "can I call?" for those who are actually real later in this blog.  But I digress.  He says he'll call in 10 minutes.  I get a call from a number in West Virginia.  I ignore it.  The number calls me again.  I ignore it.  One more time for good measure... I ignore that.  I get a text from the Carter line saying "I called you thrice".  I replied "Yes, from West Virginia.  Btw, who is Carter?" and then I blocked the person on the app, Carter's number... and got yet another call from West Virginia.  Which, has also been blocked now.  Buona liberazione!

I know by now you are wondering why I'm putting myself out there?  It's not like I can walk down the street where I live and meet people.  I moved to the COUNTRY for peace and quiet.  A friend suggested I go to church.  I did actually have that thought the other day, but then again, I am deep in the COUNTRY... and I'm not sure I want to meet a Country Christian Conservative.  I have faith that I will meet someone worthy to be in my life, until then, I'm definitely getting practice at being back in the dating game.  That part hasn't changed in decades.  It's still a bloody game for people.  

Before I forget, let me return to the question that I wanted to unpack.  "Can I call you?"  You will not find me doing a bigger eye roll to another question.  Did I give you my number?  Do you have vocal chords?  Do you know how to dial a phone?  Just freaking pick up the phone and call!!!  If I've given you my number you already have permission to call.  I'm going to even venture a guess that is true for EVERY.OTHER.WOMAN.

Forgive me if you think I'm venting...  But if you're single, and you're thinking of putting yourself out there... watch out for the slimy little buggers that think they've got game.  It almost makes me wish for the days of yore when you had to be home to answer that rotary phone that was hanging on your wall.  Almost.

#pyp
#ThxRDluvu